I attended a women’s conference for church this past weekend, which focused on cultivating friendships, and which reminded me of a journal entry I had written while taking the FLOW class at my church (First Street Church). FLOW was an 8-week class that focused on hearing God and being receptive to the Holy Spirit. We were tasked with different practices each week. One week we focused on Scripture mediation—namely, reading, pondering, and responding to one verse or a set of verses. The original journal entry below, combined with a few present reflections, are my thoughts on John 15.15.
8/3/2019 – John 15:15
“I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing, but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.” (NRSV)
My first thought is that we greatly misunderstand this verse; that “friendship” becomes the exclusive lens through which we view, and relate to, Jesus. Truthfully, it reminds me of Buddy Christ in Dogma. My second thought is that we project our 21st c. understanding of friendship onto the 1st c. understanding of friendship. Our present world is so flippant about friendship. I’ve witnessed this in my stepdaughter’s experience. It's so easy to “friend” or “unfriend” someone on Facebook; to give a thumbs up or thumbs down to everything, including people. This is not what Jesus had in mind when he called his disciples “friends.”
To really understand John 15:15, it must be read in context. We need to look at what comes before and after. In verses 12-14, Jesus says exactly what being a “friend” looks like—love and laying down one’s life.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” (NRSV)
Jesus’ explanation is in sync with a Greco-Roman view of friendship—a relationship defined by duties and obligations. For Jesus (and the cultural context both he and the disciples lived in), friendship was a committed, reciprocal, sacrificial relationship. A friend wasn’t just a feel-good person to hang out with when they needed diversion, or someone they dropped when they no longer needed them. In verse 14, Jesus says we’re only his friends if we do what he commands. If we’re willing to love others with a Christ-like love, if we’re willing to follow Jesus to the cross, then we can be his friends. This long-lasting, committed, sacrificial love is what Jesus is talking about. And this is an honor. It’s a privilege to be in Jesus’ immediate inner circle; to have the same level of connection and intimacy with Jesus that only Abraham and Moses had with God in the Old Testament. However, we need to remember that this privilege is contingent upon being an obedient believer—the part we often miss.
Friends, philos, φίλος, means to be friendly with someone, to wish him well, a companion. And we are all these things to Jesus (and Jesus to us). However, in John 15, there is no friendship without the foot washing (John 13). Our friendship with Jesus is contingent upon service, sacrifice, and love.
“You did not choose me, but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.” (NRSV, John 15:16-17)
In our 21st c., friendship is defined and interpreted in many ways. For example, a “ride or die” is an expression of extreme loyalty to someone or something. Essentially, it’s when you’re willing to do anything for someone you love or someone you really appreciate in your life[1] (I had no idea this was a phrase until I read Shonda Rhimes’ book, Year of Yes, a quick, fun, inspiring read, which I recommend).
This “ride or die” friendship is what Jesus calls us to in John 15. It’s a friendship built on extreme loyalty and love, where we’re willing to lay down our lives for Jesus (and others).
Jesus is no doubt our “ride or die,” but the question is, are we his?
[1] Thank you, Urban Dictionary. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ride%20or%20die